The way to joy

I don't know the way to joy but last week I was aware of a joy deficiency. I think this deficiency is evident in my body- even when I have a smile on my face.

How can I infuse my life with joy?
I don't know.

And yet-
I am aware of good things.

* the changing leaves which is evidence of the approach of Fall (my favorite)
* the wind blowing through the branches of enormously tall trees
* tiny, white butterflies and the way they dance through the air
* the ease of making plans to spend time with people I love
* opportunities to use my creativity at work
* interactions with Kindergartners that have me laughing and being silly

Life is...

** going to bed at 7p on a rainy evening
** walking out of Easter service
** processing wonder, guilt and shame around same
** remembering the simple joys of painted nails and bracelets
** signing up to volunteer 1 hour a week at an elementary school
** realizing in 3 weeks I'll be in Iowa
** cuckoo weather - sun, rain, hail, sun, rain, sun
** rushing through my days so fast it sometimes feels like I can't breathe
** going to the ocean and finding I didn't catch my breath there this time
** sadness for me who is so out of breath

Life is...

** falling asleep with my makeup and lights still on
** enjoying a ham, brie and pesto sandwich- mmm carbs!
** coming to new awarenesses in coaching
** being emotionally drained by the same
** anticipating a day trip to the beach this weekend
** ordering a sample of anti-aging skincare
** reframing it as gently-aging because I really don't want to stop aging
** vivid dreams at 3:30a
** pausing to touch all the beautiful flowering trees on my walks to and from bus stops
** ordering a pair of grey glasses and anticipating they will look nice with my blue eyes
** a woman sitting in the seat next to me when there are plenty of empty seats all around me
** resisting my urge to say "move it"

Happiness is...

** still accomplishing all of my Sunday todo list even though I took a long nap and dawdled around cutting funny photos out of magazines
** neon socks and how they add the perfect (to me) bit off oomph to my outfit
** knowing our house is going to have some plumbing issues resolved next week!
** plans to tour one of my work's completed residential remodels this week
** keeping candles burning all weekend - for the glow and for the scent
** spotting a house with a lavender door
** changing the shower curtain - why do I procrastinate this when it makes such a great difference for just $5?!
** the sound of neighbors mowing their lawns
** knowing I have zero responsibility to mow our lawn
** kids who say "thank you!" so exuberantly when exiting the bus

Happiness is...

** haircut! My hairdresser said we've achieved our goal of an aline cut- hurrah!
** mini cadbury eggs on an unexpected sale
** the weather today was absolutely my favorite and I was able to be out in it for many moments all day
** taking myself to the movies and (what what) not eating candy during it
** putting cold weather clothes into storage
** an empty bus on the ride home
** finding a book of recipes I am actually interested in cooking
** 4 new fish in my tank at work
** figuring out names for all of them thanks to the creativity of my hairdresser
** the way spring brings peoples' colorful clothes into the open
** finding the perfect postcard for the perfect person
** buying a green tea latte at the cafe that makes The Best ones
** the shadows of trees on cement